wind-at-your-back:

shorthalt:

thequicksilverfox:

shorthalt:

shorthalt:

New form of joke: telling someone to roll an ability check for something that obviously doesn’t need that type of check

“I wanna see if this dead body is anyone we recognize”
“Roll an acrobatics check”

You say joke, but I like to use it as an opportunity to genuinely fuck with players.
“I want to see if the dead body is anyone we know.”
“Roll acrobatics.”
“11?”
“The body seizes you by the wrists and lunges at your throat with its teeth, howling like a demon. You are grappled. Roll initiative.”

Or, “I want to check the chest for traps.”
“Roll performance.”
“Okay, uh. 17…?”
“You start whistling quietly while you go about tapping, poking, and examining the sides of the chest. It’s a pretty catchy tune you picked up a couple days ago from the bard.”
“Alright, neat, and the chest?”
“The chest starts humming along.”

OH MY GOSH THAT SECOND ONE IS A RLLY GOOD IDEA

Ah, a new twist on the classic “We laugh, they laugh, the table laughs, we kill the table”