wellsforboys:

twentybrightpansies:

Dwight Schrute Lines That Sound Like Mountain Goats Lyrics

YOU CAN GO TO HELL
AND I WILL SEE YOU THERE
BURNING

A LION COMES AND EATS YOU
YOU’RE DEAD
WELL, I’M NOT DEAD
I’M THE LION, YOU’RE DEAD!

THE HAND THAT REACHES FROM THE GRAVE TO GRIP YOUR THROAT IS THE STRONG HAND YOU WANT ON THE WHEEL

WHEN I DIE I WANT TO BE FROZEN
AND IF THEY HAVE TO FREEZE ME IN PIECES SO BE IT
I WILL WAKE UP STRONGER THAN EVER BECAUSE I WILL HAVE USED THAT TIME
TO FIGURE OUT EXACTLY WHY I DIED

OF ALL OF THE VERMIN IN GOD’S GREAT GREEN KINGDOM
LICE ARE THE ONES I DETEST THE MOST

HARDWORKING, ALPHA MALE
JACKHAMMER
MERCILESS
INSATIABLE

SALESMAN OF NORTHEASTERN PENNSYLVANIA
I ASK YOU ONCE MORE RISE AND BE WORTHY
OF THIS HISTORIC HOUR

A HERO IS BORN
OUT OF A CHILDHOOD TRAUMA
OR OUT OF A DISASTER
THAT MUST BE AVENGED

LEARN YOUR RULES
YOU BETTER LEARN YOUR RULES
IF YOU DON’T
YOU’LL BE EATEN IN YOUR SLEEP

I AM READY TO FACE ANY CHALLENGE THAT MIGHT BE FOOLISH ENOUGH TO FACE ME