The Lemon Man

fuck-customers:

(Not a fuck customers story, more of a “what even are customers?” story)

I work at an indie bookstore. Our clientele is generally normal people from all walks of life. But the Lemon Man is entirely in a league of his own.

I came to work, and there was a lemon sitting on the desk next to the register. When my coworker came over, I confronted him about the unexpected piece of fruit.

Me: So, what’s the deal with the lemon?
Coworker: Okay, it’s a funny story, but I swear it’s true. [Other coworkers] can back me up, they saw it happen.

So here’s what happened.

A man came into the store. He apparently was dressed a bit oddly and kept to himself. He had with him a lemon and two train tickets. Later inspection would show that these tickets were both one-way to different destinations at the same day and time.

He bought one bargain book. Total of $1.10. He left with his purchase, leaving the lemon and tickets on the counter, seemingly by accident.

My coworker tried to get his attention before the man left. “Sir your lemon! Sir, you forgot your lemon!” The man didn’t respond, and left the store. My manager saw what happened and took his fruit and tickets and flagged him down outside. She came back inside, still with the lemon and tickets in hand.

He had told her that they were a gift to us.

Two train tickets, one-way to different destinations at the same date and time, and a lemon.

I’m not entirely sure of what to make of the occurrence, only that I’ve never been so angry to miss something in my life.