concept: all normal checkouts are replaced with self-checkouts but instead of losing their jobs the cashiers now get to sit on top of lifeguard chairs and periodically throw wine glasses at me like dracula while i buy my goods
what is a customer? a miserable little pile of coupons
what if as you started to die, as your consciousness began to fade to nothing for what you knew was the final time, the last thing you heard was a string quartet playing a slow, sad version of Eiffel 65’s Blue
“yesterday i discovered, hill starts were very difficult, i cant ride the clutch because of the throttle problem, and i cant use the handbreak because its broken
so what ive done is fitted this log at the back.
you tow it along normally, but when you want to start on a hill you let the car roll back onto it, use it as a wedge, and set off easily, its simple, its elegant, its brilliant”
within 2 minutes of saying this, he uses it for a hill start, and it works perfectly
and within 30 seconds of that, he breaks the window