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booblessgoddess:

My brother just sent me this on snapchat I can’t fucking stop laughing this is so stupid I hate him

septembercfawkes:

I accidentally found this Umbridge and Miss Trunchbull photo shoot, and it’s terrifying

wilburite:

me as a government

thoradvice:

🌹 a flower for everyone not feeling their best today

gallusrostromegalus:

flufflyspartan110:

luvnaught:

this is the only food critic I’ll accept at my restaurant.

@beastlysoul

Feeding your animals (safe) but new-to-them foods is botha great source of enrichment for the and endless hilarity for you. I reccomend green beans because they’re unwieldly for them to eat so its an involved process.

reallyreallyreallytrying:

in the 90s if you wanted to make it as an actor you had to be called like brad pitt or tom cruise. 2 syllables tops. now you’ve gotta be alden ehrenreich or ansel elgort or timothee chalamet. anything goes. madness

whitepeopletwitter:

Who needs a clock, anyway?

mechalesbian:

mechalesbian:

me trying to tell my british friends i have depression: lads, this madman’s feeling a little sadman

my british friends trying to cheer me up: ah fuckin ell mate that’s not so cheeky innit. well we’re your mates and we’re here for ya bruv. get it together ya wet bastard. you can do it. wanker.

instantwaffles:

abolish-everything:

Bootyshorts which say “enemy of the state”

I have no impulse control