fartgallery:

me getting pulled over in the city: what seems to be the problem officer

cop: one of your tail lights was blinking

me: you mean my turn signal?

cop: what the fuck is that

milesdeep32:

Lol her charger is still plugged into her phone.

swordlesbianism:

swordlesbianism:

swordlesbianism:

swordlesbianism:

swordlesbianism:

I would like to announce that from now on my blog is going to exclusively post really niche memes aimed at pirates

This blog is NSFL (not safe for landlubbers)

Part 2

@pikky126 ’s contributions

If none of you steal these I’m going to be very disappointed

snkcthdrl:

gripthumb:

show me the post that says give Wyatt Earp his weed back

morathor:

tastefullyoffensive:

The goatpocalypse is upon us. (via KTVBJoe)

Updates have since come on this subject; we now know where the goats came from and I gotta tell you, it is better than you could possibly imagine. See.

These goats got loose from a goat rental service.

You may be thinking, who rents a goat? Who rents a hundred goats? What are they for?

They’re for eating.

Specifically, they’re for eating unwanted, flammable vegetation that can contribute to the spread of wildfires. Some people whose property tends to grow such vegetation, keep their own goats. But for some people it works out better to just rent some goats.

So.

These are Professional Eating Goats. They are trained to thoroughly and methodically scour an area of plantlife. And they came to the suburbs.

And they did their jobs.

I’m so proud of them.

the classic gameboy trilogy

retrogamingblog:

forestwater87:

scoutkln:

i actually have a pin of griffin eating a banana

This whole thing is hilarious, and then Travis just strolls in at the end to prove that he’s the Relatable Brother.

punkfaery:

punkfaery:

punkfaery:

punkfaery:

so apparently my friend owns a haunted photograph and he’s literally just told me this after two fucking years when he KNOWS how much i love haunted artefacts i can’t believe the audacity

i was like “how haunted are we talking here, is it just a vaguely cursed image or does it actually have Demonic Properties”

and he said “well i’ve never seen the actual image because my dad keeps it in a sealed envelope inside a safe, but whenever he takes it out you can hear voices screaming for help and you feel sick and sometimes you see dark figures moving around in your peripherals”

okay so, firstly, how is it that we’ve been friends for 2 years and this information has never come up, and secondly why the fuck do you still have it

according to his dad the image is of a man riding a model train set and it was given to him by a mysterious stranger in a pub who refused to tell anyone his real name

this is. this is literally a horror movie. this is a direct-to-video minimal-budget terribly-acted horror movie made by a bunch of film students in the nineties. i absolutely love it

me: “bring it round here and we can do the ouija board on it"

him: “nah, i try to stay away from that kind of stuff. if i don’t understand it then i don’t fuck with it.”

bold words from a man who stores haunted artefacts in the basement of his goddamn house