D&D Hardmode

brunhiddensmusings:

aztechnology:

out-there-on-the-maroon:

Nobody in the party is allowed to have a backstory with dead parents.

Too easy, meet me in my gauntlet. D&D Nightmare mode: Nobody in the party is allowed to have a sad backstory.

your party all has to schedule time to visit their live parents roughly once a month even if that conflicts with their normal quest flow. bringing souvenirs for your younger siblings is encouraged

whyequalsemexplusbee:

Dungeons and Dragons, but your character must be a self insert, and class is determined by your current abilities

Barbarian Must have a demonstrable temper, go off I guess 
Bard Must be able to play an instrument
Cleric Must be involved in a religious organization
Druid Must have demonstrable knowledge of, or passion for nature 
Fighter Must beat the DM in physical combat (hope your DM’s a wimp) 
Monk Must practice a martial art 
Paladin Must have a cause that one actively supports 
Ranger Must be able to fire a kind of ranged weapon accurately 
Rogue Must sneak up on the DM (Hard mode: steal their dice) 
Sorcerer Must have a powerful family heirloom 
Warlock Must work for a powerful entity (Corporations, The Government) 
Wizard Must have a College Degree or a 3.0 GPA 

If you can’t be any of these you start as a commoner, and may become one of these classes when you finally satisfy these conditions.

abyssalcorvid:

thegreatdot:

Last night I had a dream where I was in an adventuring party and our bard used a wheelchair and this witch was trying to get us to come into her evil death arena but there were these skinny and steep stairs in order to get there and we were like “how do you expect us to get there when not all of us can use the stairs?”

And we just hear her yell “Igor! How dare you not activate the accessibility spell? We’re evil, not assholes!”

@editorincreeps