yourplayersaidwhat:

Me (DM): vampyre, with a y

Literally all seven of my players: YAMPIRE!!

kramergate:

Bard: I use vicious mockery against the crab

DM: well I have to go look up his stats cause I didn’t think I would have to do a wisdom check for a crab

gallusrostromegalus:

boonbucks-city-beach:

mechanicalriddle:

heedra:

mechanicalriddle:

heedra:

god outta nowhere i just remembered the time i was in a game where the dm didn’t read one of the character’s backstories carefully enough and allowed someone to make it all the way to the final session with the hidden ability to turn into a motorcycle

lydia you cant just say stuff like this and then not explain exactly how this was performed

k so. one of the first big games i played with my current meatspace gaming group was a really excellent post-apocalyptic homebrew game. really excellent. but it was also wild as hell, had a lot of players, and was the dm’s first big game, so it was at times a real exercise in controlled chaos. and my good bro willie…my bro willie was kind of at the brunt of it. both in that he always to this day plays really chaotic characters that can’t avoid trouble, and also in that due to that and other misfortunes he died like every other session towards the end. he went through five or six characters by the time the campaign was over. one didn’t even last a full session. it was remarkable to witness actually.

but anyway, towards the end, the dm was fairly overwhelmed and dealing with a lot of other characters doing epic-level wasteland nonsense, and kinda threw reading willies backstories to the wayside. which was unfortunate for him, because willie hails from the ‘3 pages or more’ school of backstories, and by this time in the campaign was coping with his characters’ constant deaths by planning backup character well in advance, to the point where they all had intricate, complex connections to each previous character. so when he dies due to circumstances out of his control before the very last few sessions (the first but certainly not last character death he had due to betrayal: willie im still sorry) its not too suprising that he comes back as this brooding edgy darth vader guy with a five page backstory about how he had obtained a horrific nanosuit cyborg body, and the dm approves it, but sure as hell doesn’t read the whole thing bc he’s planning the final confrontation at this point.

cut to the middle of the incredibly serious final session, where his character and my character and my character’s children are fighting for their lives to escape the facility where they are currently caught in the crossfire between a raging, dying artificial intelligence and religiously zealous psychic juggernaut (long story). the dm is giving us a very bleak countdown of how long we have to get out before the whole place collapses but his character just turns to mine with a “don’t worry, just trust me” and willie smiles, looks up at the dm, and is like, “i activiate my nanite body and turn into a motorcycle”, which unfortunately was completely street legal with what he’d detailed in his backstory, so that’s exactly what he fuckin did, as the dm put his head in his hands.

end result: we survived.

this is my favorite 3 paragraphs ive ever read thank you lydia

@gallusrostromegalus

B E A U T I F U L

yourplayersaidwhat:

DM: You lose your balance and fall backwards. And as you land, you hear something in your bag break.

Warlock, remembering he has four(4) jars of live bees in his bag: Oh no.

thewatchercleric:

DM: Do you push or pull on the door?

Barbarian: *rolls a 23 strength check* I guess… push?

DM: …It was a pull but it doesn’t really matter now.

pyrrhiccomedy:

lockedinjohnlock-podfics:

cryptfly:

kramergate:

kramergate:

not to get mad nerdy but I just discovered tabletopaudio.com and I’m fuckin losing it

this person (people?) goes about making 10 minute long loopable ambient noise tracks for every imaginable setting (docks, taverns, forests, airships, spaceships, office buildings, sewers, EVERYTHING) and has over a hundred tracks to offer, and on top of that if none of them suit you there’s a huge feature called soundpad where you can mix and match from their set of hundreds of individual sound effects and music clips to make your own ambient background track

holy shit dudes

I did a little further reading on his about and the guy running this is just a dad with two kids who like playing tabletops with him and he had the composition and musical training to start making soundtracks for his games then decided to spread that to the world for absolutely free, he even welcomes you to use his tracks in your works (podcasts, videos etc) and is open to being hired for custom tracks

I love him

holy shit

good to know!

THIS IS VERY USEFUL THANK YOU