Me as a farmer

asterisk-boobnoise:

pepelover22:

*runs myself over with a tractor*

YOU DONT UNDERSTAND —- MY UNCLE IS A FARMER
AND ONE DAY HE WAS GOING OUT TO CHECK HIS CROPS
HE NOTICES A TRACTOR JUST GOING AROUND IN CIRCLES
Thinks, “That’s weird, I go check it out”
HIS FUCKING NEIGHBOR FELL OFF HIS TRACTOR AND GOT RAN OVER But he was on a slope So the tractor went around and around in circles
Running him over each time
and he was pressed into the ground like a fucking cartoon
How long had he been there? Maybe an hour.
He was alive, and fine. Just pressed into the dirt like Wile. E Coyote and was so stuck in there that he couldn’t move so he just kept getting run over until my uncle found him

v3n:

turmpo:

v3n:

turmpo:

oldmidimageviewer1994:

v3n:

turmpo:

gooolies:

turmpo:

gooolies:

turmpo:

turmpo:

gooolies:

turmpo:

turmpo:

gooolies:

turmpo:

gooolies:

turmpo:

turmpo:

turmpo:

turmpo:

turmpo:

turmpo:

turmpo:

hey.

uhhh

did you hear about the guy who lost his

fuck. wait hold on

yeah okay i got it

did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in the car crash

please answer i thought long and hard about this joke

is he okay

no. thats not what you were supposed to say

how is his condition

he is all rifght

someo ne bold the tex to for me for humour

turmpo

he is all rifght

turmpo

someo ne bold the tex to for me for humour

thanmks

can you bold the thanks for me too

who do i look like to you. some kind of man who just makes things bold. some kind of man who got his left side blown off. some kind of man who is feelin just alright. who,

im sorry. i take it back, fuck you

fuck you

fuck you as well

thanmks

does this help

fuck you as well

this is too aggressive. someone bold that for me

that

how dare you. how dare you, fuc,king cheat me like tha

tha

disposablebicycle:

disposablebicycle:

disposablebicycle:

disposablebicycle:

disposablebicycle:

disposablebicycle:

Freelancing in technical theater means you’re on a lot of different email lists. People need a crew, they send out an email, you respond with your availability. Now, most people start these with things like “hey folks” or “hi everyone”. Neal is not most people.

His openers started off innocent enough.

Then, he started to push boundaries.

And as you can see, it has spiraled out of control since then.

Tag yourselves. I’m the anteater in a suit who thinks he can pass.

THEY JUST KEEP COMING

He’s even witty in real time.

issues i have with the children’s tv show franklin

cljavjr:

donrickles:

  • all of franklin’s friends have names like “bear” and “owl” but franklin’s name is franklin.
  • all of franklin’s friends parents have names like “mr. otter” and “mrs. otter.” does that mean that otter’s name is otter otter?
  • bear has a sister named beatrice bear which means that bears name is definitely bear bear.

consider: everyone in the show is actually referring to everyone else by last name as a sign of deference. bear is called bear but his sister is called by first name because bear is older and therfore requires more respect. the reason franklin is called by first name is because no one respects him