If you tried to live on iceburg lettuce alone, you would have to eat 34 heads of lettuce daily and you would spend $17,551 annually before dying of multiple nutrient deficiencies.
Imagine living in feudal japan and getting assassinated with a shuriken. you know how hard its gotta be to hit someone with that thing? i wouldnt even be mad. id ascend to heaven and meet god-sama and he’d be like…… sir look at your death replay. and it shows some dude disguised as a farmer chucking a shuriken at me im replaying it back and forth and in slow motion and im like dude.. thats dope
jewish dad jokes are next level my friend started dating a dude named elijah and upon meeting him for the first time her dad greeted him saying “oh it’s so good to finally meet you after setting a place for you every seder” like how can you top that