shittycryptids:

A ghost that exists only to drink lemonade at 2am.

That’s just me and I don’t appreciate being called shitty thanks

trashcanniballecter:

trashcanniballecter:

Y’all wanna see a weird cucumber illuminati cup I found at the thrift shop?

Cucumber illuminati cup

Item: Chalice of the Cucumber Illuminati

My friends literally thought it was a joke to set me up with magicians so I’ve been on 11 dates with magicians. I only recently found that they were doing it on purpose. I don’t know why I still trust my friends with my love life.

pencilscratchins:

okay first of all why the fuck do your friends know eleven magicians??? do you live in halloweentown??? and secondly…. how the hell do i get in that friend group???

colorel11:

via

elderberrycoughdrops:

warpedsoulgem:

elderberrycoughdrops:

experienced the wrath of god at Claire’s

just say you got an infection from the piercing gun and go

this is the only funny response everyone else shut up

solowinged:

drkshdwbnch:

mother fucker unlimited

cameraman: where you guys going?
passengers: disco!

sinistropteryx:

ironmanstan:

imagine how fucking funny infinity war would’ve been if thanos’ snap randomly selected him as well

when-in-doubt-sing:

Listen. Cut your own hair. Dye it blue, then shave it off when you’re bored of it. Wear that outfit with those shoes. Paint your nails with all the colors of the rainbow. Get that tattoo. Go to the movies alone. Get coffee, then drink it at that special place you like. Mouth the words of the song you’re listening to on public transport. Put that thing on your wall. Bake. Draw. Dance in your underwear. Life is so much better when you don’t give a fuck